Let's start right off with the really good stuff. Nadine says we don't go anywhere anymore. I'm always on my computer, ignoring her, and she is waiting around bored and lonely until I'm done. Well, let's nip those feelings right in the bud, and go out take a walk on the wild side. So here we are, at the Expo Canacintra in Mazatlan, and as you can see, Nadine is having the time of her life posing next to the engine of a giant truck. I know she can hardly wait to dig her hands into the guts of that awesome transmission, and get that pungent aroma of diesel fuel all over that pretty pink pants suit.

Our next stop is the corn oil pavillion, where the Corn Oil queen is posing with her favorite product. It is hard to describe the sense of eager anticipation we felt on meeting such a celebrity, but Miss Corn Oil was a sweet and gracious hostess, and allowed us snap a photo of the miracle elixer tastefully displayed on top of the television set.

Next the crowd pushed us across the way into the ever popular doornknob display. Hardware is real big here in Mazatlan, despite my efforts to advance the software technology of the region. This years doorknob display is very impressive however, greatly outclassing last years paltry table full of latches and deadbolts.

An now, something for the ladies. Here are some high voltage power transformers. Yup, Nadine can burn the toast in half the time with one of these babies. These are the new oil filled high capacity models. Don't you think it's time you upgraded the power transformers in your house? After all, mother's day is right around the corner, and those dozen red roses are getting a little cliche, n'est pas?

What expo would be complete without a visit to the social security booth? I asked Nadine, what would she prefer, a candlelight dinner at the Sheik restaurant, with chateaubriand for two and caramel crepes for dessert, or a twenty minute talk about our health care benefits with the local social security office. You can see for yourself her choice.

In the unlikely event that the exhibits weren't enough excitement for one night, you could easily spend a couple of hours watching the live entertainment that was included in the 5 peso (about 50 cents) admission fee. Here we see a collection of vertically challenged professional basketball players doing their impression of New York, New York from My Fair Lady - at least that's what the announcer said.

Finally, we end the grand tour with one of the marvels of the western hemisphere, a twenty foot tall beer bottle. The ads for the expo promised a grand food fair of local Sinaloa delicacies. All we could find was a taco stand, oh, and of course the Pacifico beer booth. I guess you really don't need anything else, do you? I don't think Nadine can fairly claim I never take her anywhere anymore.